Relationships are not easy for everyone, not just gay men. Finding a compatible mate, ensuring they meet your requirements, feeling general attraction to the person, being able to honestly communicate with them among many others details. One thing is for sure if you cannot communicate effectively with your partner chances are it will not last.
So how do you find Mr Right? Well in can be easy or hard depending on your mindset.
Great deals of gay men who go out clubbing (Scene) seem to be programed into wanting instant gratification of having meeting someone and taking them home. So they head out for a big night out in the hope of meeting someone who takes there fancy. They find someone out and take them home, sleep with them straight away and then either leave as soon as the have arrived, or make some effort if they are interested.
The problem with this approach is that they almost certainly get stuck in a pattern where this is all they do. Then years go by and they realise they are not as young or attractive anymore and are finding it difficult to meet anyone genuine that is attracted to them.
I once read a book called ‘Reinventing Your Life’ and it said that if someone meets 50% of your requirements then its worth perusing. The reason they say this is that if you meet someone and are not attracted to them but you like them – this is a potential successful relationship. Over time you will end up getting to know each other and a friendship starts. Later on the attraction comes as you begin to like personality traits of the person you’re seeing. Don’t sleep with them until that attraction starts and you will be laying the basis of a very rewarding relationship.
Great deals of gay men I have coached say they are only ever looking at the physical side to attraction first and then the personality. This is why so many relationships don’t work. The first few years are great and then you realise the person your with is someone you don’t really like. Yeah the sex is great and you’re physically attracted to the other person but you just can’t stand their personality anymore. Why does this happen? Because you finally got to know the other person and you do not like who they are. What a disaster!
If you take the approach mentioned above you may just meet you soul mate, someone who you just want to be with, someone you love with all of your being. Someone you can spend the rest of your life getting to know better.
As mentioned at the top, relationships are not easy but they are possible. If you’re having trouble finding, creating or staying in a relationship maybe you have some minor issues you need to work through. One thing is for sure its loads easier to deal with when you hire help and there are so many different avenues available today.
Gay Support Brisbane
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