The Story of a Gay Finding a Boyfriend!

Finding Mr Right, Not Mr Right Now!

Relationships are not easy for everyone, not just gay men. Finding a compatible mate, ensuring they meet your requirements, feeling general attraction to the person, being able to honestly communicate with them among many others details. One thing is for sure if you cannot communicate effectively with your partner chances are it will not last. 

So how do you find Mr Right? Well in can be easy or hard depending on your mindset.

Great deals of gay men who go out clubbing (Scene) seem to be programed into wanting instant gratification of having meeting someone and taking them home. So they head out for a big night out in the hope of meeting someone who takes there fancy. They find someone out and take them home, sleep with them straight away and then either leave as soon as the have arrived, or make some effort if they are interested. 

The problem with this approach is that they almost certainly get stuck in a pattern where this is all they do. Then years go by and they realise they are not as young or attractive anymore and are finding it difficult to meet anyone genuine that is attracted to them. 

I once read a book called ‘Reinventing Your Life’ and it said that if someone meets 50% of your requirements then its worth perusing. The reason they say this is that if you meet someone and are not attracted to them but you like them – this is a potential successful relationship. Over time you will end up getting to know each other and a friendship starts. Later on the attraction comes as you begin to like personality traits of the person you’re seeing. Don’t sleep with them until that attraction starts and you will be laying the basis of a very rewarding relationship.

Great deals of gay men I have coached say they are only ever looking at the physical side to attraction first and then the personality. This is why so many relationships don’t work. The first few years are great and then you realise the person your with is someone you don’t really like. Yeah the sex is great and you’re physically attracted to the other person but you just can’t stand their personality anymore. Why does this happen? Because you finally got to know the other person and you do not like who they are. What a disaster! 

If you take the approach mentioned above you may just meet you soul mate, someone who you just want to be with, someone you love with all of your being. Someone you can spend the rest of your life getting to know better. 

As mentioned at the top, relationships are not easy but they are possible. If you’re having trouble finding, creating or staying in a relationship maybe you have some minor issues you need to work through. One thing is for sure its loads easier to deal with when you hire help and there are so many different avenues available today.
Gay Support Brisbane

Coming Out

Gay Support Brisbane has identified that support is one of the main reasons why people choose not to come out. If they feel that their family or friends are not going to accept them this can be a difficult place to be in. Feeling supported is the best way to ensure that the coming out process is easier. If you feel like you are all alone and there is no where to turn to, think again. 

There are more and more places beginning to deal with and be there for the gay community in Brisbane. Support Groups, Doctors and Psychologists even Gay Life Coaches that specialise in gay support right here in Brisbane. 

The feeling of not being honest to family and friends is often very hard to live with. You can feel totally alone and that no one out there understands or cares about you. This is further from the truth. There are resources out there and more are being developed all the time. 

The best way to deal with the coming out process is to treat it as if it was someone else’s problem and look at it from another perspective. This takes the pressure off you and helps you to think more clearly about the situation at hand. Also if you’re not concentrating on the negatives about a certain situation a real solution often pops into your head unconsciously. 

Another great way to gain clarity over coming out is to do a pro and con list to the benefits of coming out or staying in the closet. Once you do finally come out the feeling is often that some weight has been lifted of your shoulders. You feel as though you can breath deeper, be loved again, and feel safe in the fact that no one is out there that is about to blow your cover. It feels amazing to finally let go of all that fear and feel such relief. 

There will be tears and pain but let me say it is well worth going through all that to get to the other side, the side where you don’t feel as though your hiding something from the rest of the world and the people you love. There are times when people’s lives have been turned upside down but this can be a very good personal strengthening exercise. We all know that saying “What does not kill us only makes us stronger” It’s certainly true about coming out. Be happy, be proud, be Gay. 
http://www.gaysupportbrisbane.com